Village needs to butt in on this idea

News item:  The City of Chicago will be using goats to clear the landscape at O’Hare International Airport.

Brilliant.  Absolutely brilliant.

Hello, village hall?  Where have you been?   In this age of tight budgets and an overwhelming urge to go green (which really means saving the green and not the greening of the environment), it makes perfect sense for the village to look at this plan.

Just imagine the tranquility a herd of goats would be to the parks, the Village Green, the medians along Lake-Cook Road and, of course, the municipal campus.

According to media reports, the O’Hare goats will be housed at the airport and caged up over night.  This would be a summer thing as, well, there’s not too much for goats to do during the winter.  (As an FYI to village officials, the incorporation of Yaks into the village would make sense as Yaks do well in the winter…but that’s another proposal).

The village would need, of course, to look at how this could be incorporated into its corporate flow chart.  I’m sure that at this point in time there is no “Goat Shepherd” on the payrolls.

A new Public Works employee --  or Farmers' Market attraction?

Again, timing is perfect.  With the search under way for a new Public Works Director, it would be ideal to just add that to the job description.  Public Works handles maintenance of the grassy areas (let’s say turf areas) so it’s a natural.  I don’t think this potential was previously discussed because, well, I don’t think former Public Works Director Greg Boysen was a goat kind of guy – not that acting director Mike Skibbe is, but it’s a transitional time, which is perfect for incorporating this new approach to green gardening.

As for Board liaison – it’s a slam dunk.  Since goats are generally farm based, they’d be a natural for the Farmers’ Market.  Congratulations to Trustee Andrew Stein – you are now Goat Coordinator.  Just image the possibilities – in addition to goats chomping the weeds, Stein (who could play the role so well decked out in a pair of lederhosen and shepherd’s hat) can arrange for goat rides or a petting zoo at the Farmers’ market (which begins June 16), or how about fresh goat milk cheese? Heck, that sounds better than a bacon waffle sundae.

Heck, the village can carry the goat theme over to Buffalo Grove Days – The beer tent can feature Horny Goat Brew and maybe foster a sponsorship with the Horny Goat Brewing Company.  We’re talking some serious money here, folks.

And if the village wants to attract more restaurants, why not contact Sam Sianis about opening a Billy Goat in the village?  The possibilities are endless.

In fact, there’s a potential windfall for the Park District.  Encourage the village’s thespians to come up with an original musical just about the village’s goat initiative.  I even have a name for the production.

Nanny Get Your Gun.