Seriously, what do some people want the police to do?

It’s  amazing, as I have written before, just why some people call the police.  Seriously.  Not only does it seem as though some residents need to think twice, others just seem to lack, with all due respect, some common sense.

A sampling:

Let’s be careful out there. It seems like a week slips by without someone calling the police about someone calling from the IRS about back taxes, penalties, or a tax official coming to their house.  Granted, it’s a scam, but ask yourself – when did the government, let alone the IRS—be that vigilant?

You can’t win if you don’t play.  A resident called out of concern that she had been scammed about being a lottery winner -- in the Dominican Republic.  Odds are it was not Linda Kollmeyer.

Seriously?  A resident reported to police that his doorbell rang at 3 a.m.  He opted not to answer the door, which is a probably a good idea.  He reported to police that at around 9:30, he noticed what police are calling a "large lawn lion" on his doorstep. Seriously. They took it to the police department where it was placed in the evidence holding area.

Short by inches. A resident reports that someone stole 26-inch wheel off their bike and replaced it with 24-inch.  Really.

Another reason why cats are not good pets.  A woman called police because she was bitten by a cat -- her own --  and it turned red the next day. Seems to me she should have just gone to see her doctor.  No charges were filed against the cat.

First day jitters.  A new teller at a local bank moved a money pack that activated alarm.  This of course prompted a response by the police. Imagine her performance review.

Next time, get it delivered.  The manager of a local Dominos called.  Seems as though a promotion went array and there were 30-40 angry, upset, and hungry people outside.  The reason?  The firm was offering $1 pizzas (limit five, thank you). So to avoid overcrowding, the manager, with 20-30 people in the store, locked the door for fear of being harassed by people outside.  Not a good idea.  But rest assured, he issued rain checks.

This just in. A resident called to report a seat on a teeter-tooter was broken off due to rust and metal fatigue.  And the police are supposed to do what?

Waiting doesn’t pay off.  Staff at local restaurant called – Some customers left without paying because it took too long to get their food.  Look for a help wanted sign soon.

With friends like this. Follow this one closely.   A man called police after buying a car from a friend and offered to make payments.  He didn't, car was repossessed.  The purchaser tried to locate the car.  No luck. The seller removed the plates.  The purchaser contends the seller hid the vehicle from him.  The purchaser maintained that he has had the vehicle several times and then gives it back to seller after he threatens him.  Remember, these are friends.  Police told both parties it was a civil matter and not much they can do.

This just in No. 2:  A resident reported that their garbage cart was stolen. Must have been the result of trash talking between neighbors.

Hello, Federal?  Someone from the post office called police after irate customer did not want to pay for tape she used.  The customer, according to police reports, left without mailing package.

Smoked fish?  Police and fire officials responded to a home where the second floor was filled with smoke.  The cause was a burnt out motor on a salt water fish tank.

Probably a valid complaint.  Police responded to a complaint about loud music.  How loud was it? The resident in question did not hear the police officer knocking until there was a break in the guitar solo.

Suspicious?  Police received a complaint of a suspicious person – distributing campaign material prior to the Nov. 4 election. No word if the candidate was suspicious.

On a serious note.  As the saying goes, if you see something, say something.  A late-night cyclist noticed a suspicious person and contacted police.  They investigated and their efforts led to the arrest of a Buffalo Grove man who allegedly slashed 71 tires.

Imagine the next meeting of the condo board. Police called in response to a disturbance.  It turns out that two men were arguing about homeowners association.  One wanted the other to resign. One said another made an "aggressive body gesture" toward him.  Stay tuned.

No love here.  Police were summoned by residents who became distraught when tennis balls were blown into their court.

This just in No. 3.  A gas meter worth $2000 value was reported stolen.  This prompts these questions.  1.) Why   2.) What does one do with a gas meter?

Seriously? Police received a complaint about from a resident who, they say, was closing their sliding patio door too loudly.  It was the fourth time they had filed a complaint.

What happens in Vegas.  Sensing a scam, a resident called police to report that he received a package from a jewelry store in Las Vegas. The package contained “8 to 10 red bird mints.”  Police checked out the store and found out that it’s legitimate.  But wait, there’s more.  It seems as though the package, remember, we’re talking mints from a jewelry store in Vegas, was sent by the man’s sister-in-law to the resident as a reminder for him to call his brother. The man said he would call his brother.  Seriously, I am not making this up.  There’s no way I could.

Like this will do any good.  Police received a report of people yelling obscenities at a construction worker on Deerfield Parkway.  Not sure if it helped traffic, but I bet the motorist felt better.

Fore! Police reported a man damaged a golf cart. He didn't realize cart was in reverse.

And the hits just keep on coming. Police received a complaint of a dog bite.  But wait, there’s more. Work with me on this.  Police report a friend was giving a friend’s dog a treat when the dog jumped up, bit her, and would not let go of her.  Police report the dog was a 97-pound pit bull-mastiff mix.  Police reports say the dog was taken in by the resident for her former boyfriend who was unable to properly care for the dog. The report says that the resident is terrified of the dog and was told that her former boyfriend tried to “rehabilitate” the dog.  Is it any wonder it’s her former boyfriend?

Are you telling me the mink stole?  Maybe it is a good time to listen to your spouse.  Case in point.  A man told police he took his wife to the hospital after she was bitten by a wild mink – as opposed to a domesticated mink.  But wait, there’s more. It seems as though the residents have a pond in their front yard which has a Koi fish in it.  They observed what they thought was a squirrel trying to eat the fish.  It wasn’t, it was a mink, and despite the husband's warning to his wife not to try and free it from a trap they had set -- she tried and was bitten.  The mink was not charged.