Donuts, charity and some strange calls -- the sagas continue

As I continue to go through the variety of police reports, it’s clear there are some that Officer Krupke would not understand….

Next time, try Uber. A cab picked up a passenger at the Cumberland Metra station who wanted to go to Deer Park – cab driver took her to Deerfield and Weiland roads. GPS said it was the fastest way.

Not on his resume -- A local company summoned police for “standby” as the company, according to police reports, “sacked” an employee.  Seems as though employee, or now ex-employee, had a criminal record for bomb making that he apparently neglected to note on his job application.

Talk about disturbing the peace, or should that be piece? -- Police were called to home by a resident who was complaining about a neighbor having lout sexual relations.  Police said resident accused said it was all false. They, in turn, provided police with the name and address of a neighbor who they suspected of being the culprit.  Resident said she told the “ahem: offender via text that he was having loud sex. Police talked with the neighbor who confirmed that he had a new girlfriend and they were, in fact, having “loud sex”.  He said he forgot to close the window.  Police said he was very apologetic and, well, embarrassed.

Seriously?  A resident called because a neighbor was picking pears off her tree without her permission.  Resident said there as a plastic bag in the ground with 15- 20 pears on the ground left there by the neighbor. 

With friends like this… A Buffalo Grove resident called police to report that her car was missing.  Not that this is big news, but it does make you wonder about decisions people make.  The resident told police that she saw an old friend at a casino and she invited him back for drinks.  She gave him keys to her car so he could retrieve some stuff, which sounded like a good idea.  But he never came back.  Police are still looking for the man – and the car.

No pomp, but plenty of circumstances. Police documented a situation where a resident came in to report that her college diploma from Moscow State Open Education University was missing.  Resident graduated in 1980.  Said report was needed for a duplicate.

When in Rome, don't lose your phone.    Resident reported her phone was stolen -- in Rome.  As in Italy.  Needs a police report for/insurance.  But why not in Rome?

If you run out of Ethyl, get Mable -- Police were notified by a gas station attendant after a man started to drive off --- with the gas pump still connected, driver almost hit someone while on his mobile phone.  He apologized but told police he was only adjusting the phone's settings.

Drive up anger – A resident called police after person(s) yelled obscenities at her while waiting at a drive-up line at a drug store. Complainant said the truck with the alleged offender(s) had a license plate holder that read "In God We Trust". No further comment.

Big bang theory -- Resident called police to report a found grenade in the crawl space. Police responded and quickly found that it was a novelty.  The resident did, however, play it safe by taking it outside and putting it in a concrete block.

Where’s Bert Weinman when we need him? Police were summoned to a parking lot after a man wanted to return a car he purchased the day before -- a 1981 Rolls Royce.  He was informed it was a civil matter.

Talk about self-serve -- Police were called to a local gas station due to a report of an intoxicated person who was asleep by the side of the building.  He was.  He told police he was riding his bike home, but was too drunk to continue, so he decided to take a nap.  Police took he and his bike home.  He thanked police.

To be sure he has a secret -- or maybe not.  Man called police to report that his package containing organic deodorant was missing.   UPS is investigating as well.

Next time get decaf -- Police were called to respond to a stolen car.  Caller said it was stolen from behind his office.  No one had seen it.  Caller said he had a call from a suspicious person.  Number was verified.  Case was solved, however, when man called saying he realized (and I'm not making this up) he drove to Starbucks after lunch -- and walked back to the office, leaving his car in the parking lot.