They continue to serve and protect...and probably laugh a little

So many reports, so little time.  Buffalo Grove police respond to calls involving lost animals, naked couples, missing stoves and more.  They serve and protect.  How they do it without laughing is amazing.

System failure? A resident called about a missing computer.  Police checked area.  The computer was found -- on a dark table in the room she had left it in.

Hello, Luca Brasi? Police were called to a grocery store about a customer who was talking loudly with profanities because he wanted to know who was in charge of the fish.

What’s love got to do with it? Police were called about a man pulling a woman's hair while in a car.  Police said the couple was in "good spirits" and that the man was touching the female in a "flirtatious manner" and that the person who called mistook their "playfulness" for dismay.  The end of the report noted “nothing further"

Be careful who you meet online.  Police were called about a suspicious person.  It turned out to be a man waiting outside because a girl he met online was inside changing and did not want the man to meet her parents.   She confirmed the story.

Cat on the loose.  Police responded to the call about a stray cat.  When officers brought it back to the police department, it fled.

But was the battery really dead?  Police had a complaint about a car blocking a lane of a street.  Owner said battery died and he was going to have it moved.   Upon investigation police noticed a box of condoms on the front seat and three "apparently used condoms" a short distance from the vehicle.

Beats a Fiddler on the Roof -- Police responded to a report of a naked male on a roof.  When they got there they did not see anyone.  Complainant insisted the man was there.  Police called for BGFD, which sent a ladder truck.  Upon further investigation, police and fire fighters found both the man --- and a woman -- both naked -- on the roof.  Police reports say once the couple was on the ground they admitted to making a "bad choice". 

Icy reception -- Resident said tree trimming crew waved an icicle in his face. They said he was complaining about the noise from their equipment and started using profanities.

Really?  Why?  Resident brought in 29 license plates to the police department to be destroyed.

Suspects narrowed down.  A resident reported a “viscous" fluid on her windshield.  Not sure if it was because her daughter attracts "the wrong element from Elgin" or if it was because she would not let a repair man use her outlet for repairs at a neighbor's house.

Rubbed the wrong way. Two masseuses call saying they were being held against their will.  Hired to give messages.  They and two customers had beer, massages lasted five minutes, not the full time promise.  Customers were mad and yelling.  Two masseuses said they were not prostitutes.

Shouldn’t he have done this ahead of time? Police received a report of a suspicious vehicle. It turned out to be a guy who had just purchased a Porche and was learning to drive stick shift.

There’s a shot and a... - Police were called by a resident after a window was broken.  Turned out   neighbors kid was playing hockey when his shot went wide, went flying and broke the neighbor's window.  So we lose a puck and gain and new window.

The keyword may be intelligence. Police received a report of a resident making noise. The resident told police he was excited about his new job with the CIA.

Sealed with a kiss?  A resident called police because he thinks the cost for seal coating his driveway was too high.  Hint – there’s a way to avoid this -- get an estimate ahead of time.

A dastardly situation.  Police were called because someone was playing soccer on the basketball court.

Is this ‘fare’? A cab driver called police to help him get passenger out of back seat where he feel asleep

Want to bet she is not in their rewards program.  A 26 year old palatine woman checked into a Buffalo Grove hotel.  She went to her room, but the hotel staff soon found out her credit card was declined.  The manager went to tell her, but to his dismay, no one answered.  The saga continues – the manager tried to use his pass key, only to find the door latched.  But wait, there’s more.  The manager detected the smell of cannibals. The manager called police who found the same thing. The difference was they cut the latch. The guest woke up claiming she did not hear the attempts (to no surprise).  She was advised of the situation and told to leave.  Which she did. 

Nice try.  Resident called police about a neighbor speeding. Neighbor told police the car was rented, and is so loud; it appears to be going faster than it is.  Really.

But was her wearing a helmet? A resident called police to report a man who was riding his bike and pulling up his shorts in a manner that "may have exposed his private parts".  The caller was concerned because of the man's proximity to a school.  He did not provide details about the private parts.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.  Resident just wanted this documented: He told police signed up on an online dating site.  Exchanged "questionable” photos with an apparent female.  She then said she was 16.  Next came a text from someone who said he was the girl’s father. Oh, he wanted $700.  Girls profile suddenly vanished.

Did they check Woodstock? A dog named Snoopy was reported missing.

Where’s the Maytag man when we need him?  A resident called police to report that over the past two years he has found laundry lint in his bushes and on her porch.

And he’s the only one? A resident called to complain about the large number of robo calls.

Check references next time.  Police were called because an employee at a local restaurant was caught stealing during her first five days on the job.

Wonder if this ‘Bugs’ police?  Police were called to a residence because of a stray rabbit. Report says it may be someone's pet because it did not run away.  Rabbit was brought to the police station.  Seriously.

Forget Sweetest Day.   A resident met with police after he complained that his ex-girlfriend kept calling him.  Seems as though she wanted closure after their six-month relationship. It ended after he was arrested for domestic battery. 

Seriously? Police were called to a restaurant due to a fight caused by request for hash browns, 

Maybe the price was too high?  A woman called police because she was planning to show a condo for sale, but there appeared to be the odor of cannabis in the common hallway. 

Not home on the range -- Police are investigating a burglary in which a stove was removed.  The home was vacant at the time.  Police speculate the burglars came in through garage, backed a truck up and loaded stove.

And finally, this has to be a first.  A guy was accused of driving off without paying for his gas. When police contacted him he said it was a mistake and drove back from Woodridge to pay for the $45 worth of gas.