See spot, see spot's zone...

            I’m not sure why I decided to look at the details of the agenda before the June 20 Village Board meeting. A cursory glance revealed a lot of what appeared to routine matters with nothing earth shaking.  I have learned, however, never to take anything per granted.

            So when I saw an item under new business regarding a proposed apartment complex at Busch and Deerfield parkways, I figured, what the heck, I’d take a look after it.

            Aside from having an urge to disagree or correct a Village Board member on some goofy error, I really have not had a desire to speak at a Village Board meeting. 

            Any thoughts I had about speaking at a Board meeting changed after looking over the proposal by “Realtelligence LLC” that calls for 208 units distributed in two 3-story buildings of 36 units and an 8-story building with 136 units.  I thought briefly – that’s an awfully small parcel for such a large complex.  The parcel, by the way, is on the curve just east of the Metra tracks on Deerfield Parkway – the intersection the backs up during both the morning and afternoon rush hours.

            The other factor that came to play for my curiosity is the “need” for an eight-story building.  It’s similar to a residential building at Riverwalk Place.  At first I thought it was no big deal because they’re both eight stories.  But what amazed me request for a variance to have an approved height of nearly double that current limit of 45 feet.  So why does Riverwalk get to have higher buildings?  According to village sources, it is because the development was approved in the B-3 Planned Business Center District. There is no height limit to the buildings within the district.  However, the site plan for the Realtelligence plan requires planned unit development (best known as a PUD) approval so a number of factors are reviewed including but not limited to building height, set-back, traffic, etc.  In essence, what they want is spot zoning. 

            I was not sure what the developers would say at the meeting, or how the Village Board would respond.  I was, however, ready to respond to this seemingly effort at spot zoning.

            The presentation by Realtelligence was one for the books.  In addition to a request for a height variance, they also wanted a reduction in the number of parking spaces because, and as Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up, they envision this develop as being one where people would walk to places and would need a car.  That simply stunned me because given the location of the property, residents could enjoy a leisurely walk to two strip centers and the Metra station?  News flash, Buffalo Grove is not Oak Park or Evanston which are places with a traditional downtown district within walking distance of a variety of multi- and single-family housing.

            In addition to a height variance, they also want a zoning change from industrial to planned unit development because Realtelligence’s consultant does not think the site works well for industrial or mixed use for commercial and residential as a village plan indicates is feasible.  Both recommendations don’t surprise me; developers often take stand that they know more than village planners.

            The folks from Realtelligence, who did not display much “telligence”, also did not seem to take into consideration that a height variance could be impacted by the Chicago Executive Airport (formerly known as Palwaukee Airport).  I was, in fact still am, amazed, that a developer proposing a complex of this nature would be clueless to the proximity of the state’s busiest general aviation airport to their project.

            And then there’s the issue of the impact on local schools, particularly District 102.  No problem, the Realtelligence guys said – they only anticipate 12, count ‘em 12, kids to live the complex.  I’m still wondering how they plan to enforce that – maybe they’ll offer a discount with every sterilization.

            The bottom line in my mind is this – this proposal is little more than an effort to railroad an ill thought project through the village, which seemed to be the consensus of the Board, which saved me from addressing the Board.

            It has not, however, stopped me from promoting truth in advertising.  Based on what I saw and read Realtelligence needs to change its name.

How about Realcon?

Joe Friday, eat your heart out...

It’s not the stuff Dragnet was made of -- somehow Chief Steve Balinski doesn’t strike as Officer Joe Friday. 

But the police reports yield some problems in the land of the big animals.  For example, a resident reported “...that she had an argument with her live in boyfriend and he left and has not returned…”  It’s not the stuff that Stabler and Benson deal with on a regular basis, if at all.

The village does, to my surprise, have its own special unit.  It’s not SVU or SUV, CI, CSI, or NCIS.

It’s the truck enforcement unit.  Really.

I happened to pull up behind the truck enforcement vehicle recently and was amazed – absolute amazed – that the village had such a unit.

Undaunted, I contacted Chief Balinski (who I think resembles Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein) about the unit.

It’s a big deal.  We’re talking crackdown on overweight trucks, coordination of “between developers, trucking companies and the village.”  Huh?  According to Commander Steve Husak of the BGPD, the purpose here is to make sure there is coordinated “truck routing in and out of commercial job sites.”

Truckers beware... 

Husak also informed me that “This unit issues permits for overweight and oversize vehicles using Village maintained highways. These officers respond to complaints from residents about truck specific problems and they check trucks for safety and driver’s license classification violations”

The unit, Husak noted, also checks for overweight trucks.  How?  The village does not have truck weight checkpoints (like the ones on state road that never seem to be open).  Rest assured Buffalo Grovians; the TEU is equipped with portable scales and will, noted Husak, weigh suspected overweight trucks on site.

So how do you suspect an overweight truck?  It’s probably difficult unless it’s wearing Spandex, which reveals everything (there ought to be a law banning Spandex when someone’s weight exceeds AMA, FDA, CIA standards…but that’s a topic for another day).  Husak noted that the state has specific guidelines for trucks.  In a nutshell, maximum weight for large trucks is 80,000 pounds, which is a combined weight for truck and load.  So if you see a truck that needs an axle tuck, or one that’s avoiding whipped cream with its latte, it may be an indication that it’s fighting the battle of the bulge.

Of course, some trucks can skirt the issue.  Ever see a garbage truck?  Husak agrees.  “garbage trucks in general need to comply with the weight restrictions, which can be difficult for the drivers to manage as they collect refuse along their routes. Wet garbage weighs more than dry.”

So, as Mr. Portokalos: would say, there you go.

What’s needed know is a village wide S.O.S – Save Our Streets.  Residents can do this by drying their garbage.  This can be an easy task by eating only dry food.  Cereal will work fine; I’m not so sure about pasta.  It’s a small thing, but it will help the police department by making life easier for the TEU.

Who knows, before long we may see the CPU on the street, a move that could net the village thousands of dollars.

CPU?  That could be the next version of Law and Order.  “In the war on crime, telephone crimes are considered especially annoying.  In Buffalo Grove, the dedicated professionals who investigate these crimes are member of an elite squad know as the Cell Phone Unit – these are there stories.”