Through it all, they serve and protect

It’s amazing what can miss when you can’t hit the local blog beat on a regular basis.

That does not, however, mean that the men and women of the Buffalo Grove Police Department have not been diligently serving and protecting the folks of Bisonville.

While are large urban neighbors deal with their issues, here are some of the recent critical cases coming across the police desk.

Less caffeine may help -- It seems as though one customer needs to order decaf.  He was escorted by police out of Panera and then five days later out of Starbucks.  He must like to battle baristas.

Not to make it a federal case – It seems as though a local resident was distraught with Craig’s List and called Buffalo Grove Police about his displeasure.  Not wishing to deal with customer service, the resident said he would call “the FBI and the local CIA.”  Local CIA?  Must be the result of the government shut down.  I wonder if the local CIA has a canine unit.

Probably not a good idea -- A resident informed police that a neighbor had a habit of putting food out for animals, a practice going back to 2011.  You would thing that given the infiltration of skunks, coyotes, possum and other creatures people would get the message.

Did he get fries with that?  -- A Burger King customer was whopping mad about his meal and demanded his money back, but not before a profanity-laced outburst which, police reports included a variety of “colorful metaphors”.

You’d think she would learn. -- A woman reported her iPad missing from her health club locker while she put her make up on.  Ah, the joy of the digital age.  Guess she’ll need to take two tablets and work out in the morning.

Excuse of the day – A motorist who was pulled over for suspected drunken driving told police what they smelled was not alcohol, but the often mistaken odor associated with refinishing furniture.  Oh, and just to play it safe, he was also drinking mouth wash so he could brighten his teeth.  Next case your honor.

A pressing situation – A resident called police because she was unhappy with her dry cleaning, specifically pressing on the skirt.  Really.  And what was the officer supposed to do – iron it for her?  Can you see a remake of “Dragnet” – the opening would be “My name’s Friday; I carry an iron.”

Are you surprised? -- A woman contacted police because she was getting inappropriate text messages after meeting someone on an online dating site. 

This is just wrong – A woman contact Buffalo Grove Police because of damage to headstones at a local cemetery by her ex-husband. 

Not puppy love – A woman contacted police because she was afraid of her neighbor’s dog.  A four-month old puppy.

A taxing situation – A resident contact police because his tax return, being prepared by H & R Block, was not ready on time.  Perhaps the fact that they waited to the last minute to have tax returns filed probably had nothing to do with this problem.  By the way, what were the police going to do?

A way with words -- Police report that a “rather arrogant male” was not happy with a complaint that police were investigating and asked them “.if they had something better to do.”

Keep the left arm straight – Police were called when an errant golf shot broke a window.  Seems as though the golfer let his son hit the ball.  This means he did not have his own clubs and probably did not pay a daily fee.  More revenue lost.

He fought the lawn, and the lawn won -- Police issued a citation to a resident whose grass – as in lawn – was more than 12 inches high.  Yes, there is an ordinance on the books about lawn length.

You knew this would happen -- Police received a complaint that two trash receptacles were missing.  Both were 32 gallon contains.  See, there is an advantage to the 92-gallon containers.  They are too hard to steal.

And at the bottom of that pile was... – A company complained that someone was dumping garbage into their dumpster.  Undaunted, Buffalo Grove Police located the perpetrator when they found several shipping labels with his name on them.  No word if he had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage.

Open wide -- In addition to receiving complaints about dry cleaning and tax returns, the Buffalo Grove Police are apparently dental experts.  A woman called to complain about the poor quality of the work done by a local dentist.  She said the work was sub standard.  And the police are to do what about this?

Along with long lawns – As one resident found out, the village has an ordinance prohibiting the flying of radio-controlled airplanes without a permit.  My guess is this is not a serious problem in the village.

And finally – Police received a call about a suspicious vehicle.  Upon investigation they found a young couple in the SUV with the back seats lowered.  They were just talking, police report.  Right.  Talking about what – where they were going to watch submarine races?

Still time to help Fill the Boot

Members and friends of the Buffalo Grove Fire Department helped the fight against MDA by walking the streets last Friday (Lake Cook and Arlington Heights roads) as part of its annual Fill the Boot campaign.

They will be on the road tomorrow (Friday, Aug. 30) at Dundee and Buffalo Grove roads.  If you are attending Buffalo Grove Days -- look for them there as well.

Be quick -- to help Fill the Boot

How quickly time flies by.

How quickly we get wrapped up in issues that we think impact only us.

How quickly we forget how fortunate we are if our kids are healthy and don’t suffer from any major medical issues.  Like Muscular Dystrophy.

Fortunately some folks take time to roll up their sleeves – or in this case take off their boots – to help.

The Buffalo Grove Fire Department will once again walk the streets on Aug. 23 and Aug. 30 as part of its annual Fill the Boot for MDA campaign.

According to Fire Chief Terrence M. Vavra, this year’s goal is $26,000.  It’s a two-day drive with fire fighters collecting at the intersection of Lake Cook and Arlington Heights roads on Friday, Aug. 23 and at Dundee and Buffalo Grove roads on Aug. 30.

MDA Fill the Boot Days are Aug. 23 and 30

It’s likely that there are some skeptics or cynics who are saying “yeah, great…my tax dollars are being spent so some fire fighter can get paid to play fund raiser.”

Not quite.

The fire fighters volunteer their time.  They do not volunteer during their scheduled shifts, but come in on their day off.  Cool.  How many residents would do – or even do – the same?  The MDA drive is just one of several charitable efforts done by the fire department.  In the past it has organized the presence of the pink fire trucks as part of a cancer awareness campaign.  It has also sold pink sweatshirts and T-shirt as part of the program.

But the MDA drive has the most visibility because when you see fire fighters, family members and other folks standing in a major intersection, flanked by a fire truck, you take notice.

I’ve been following this program for several years because I think we tend to overlook the work done by the police and fire departments.  They’re not perfect; nothing is – but at least they are giving back to the community.

I joined them last year, working both intersections (that doesn’t sound right…but you get the idea) and it is amazing to see the reactions of people when they’re approached with a boot.  Some try and hide, other grab the cell phone, but fortunately many roll down the window and donate.

Think about it.  The goal is $26,000 – which if you break it down comes out to .62 cents for each resident.

Sixty two cents.

That’s probably less than what some people tip their barista.

Maybe skipping the tip and filling the boot is a better idea.

It's time for a change...

It was, for all intensive purposes, a big news week last week.

Item 1:  Buffalo Grove was ranked one of the top 50 places to live in the United States.  Reb Mordechai, drinks for everyone.

Item 2:  The Smithsonian announces that a new mammal, the Olinguito, which CNN reported is “..A small mammal with fluffy red-orange fur, a short bushy tail, and an adorable rounded face…”  Now, this is big news.

It’s also a no brainer.

According to Money magazine, the village had all the right tools (schools, finances, government, bloggers…well three of the four) making it attractive.  However, it reported that it did not have a traditional downtown district.

The village does, however, have a traditional name.  Too traditional.

If the village’s fathers and mother want to make a statement, change could be in the air.

It’s time to say good bye to the buffalo.

If Money magazine wants the village to break with tradition, it needs to do so beyond its rather

An olinguito offers a calmer image of the village

traditional name. 

So rather than Buffalo Grove, how about Olinguito Falls?  Or Olingutio Grove? Or Olingutio Shores?

Cynics, no doubt, would say “There’s never been a olinguito here.”

But has there ever been a Buffalo? Didn’t think so.

Granted, it would require getting used to – replacing Buffalo with olinguitos on the village’s letterhead and public service vehicles will be a change, but it’s one that would project a softer side of the village. 

First and foremost, however, is the replacement of those Fiberglass buffalos that adorn parts of the village.  And that stuffed buffalo head in the council chambers?  That has to go.  Warm, cuddly olinguitos would add a subtle change.

I know the sports programs around the village may need to change, especially at Buffalo Grove High School where the teams are known as the Bison.  Really.  Bison?  Just how many teams are known as the Bison compared to the “Fighting Olinguitos”?  It should not upset folks at the school as long as it doesn’t affect enrollment in AP classes.

The bottom line, is it’s all about uniqueness, friends, uniqueness.

So if the village wants to move up the list, it needs to add to the charm.  Growling, gruffly looking buffalo replaced by warm, cuddly olingutios may help.

As for a traditional downtown -- the founding fathers and mothers apparently opted against it.  And my guess is a plan by the developers in expensive suits and high-priced cars probably isn’t the answer.

But just think, if the village adopts the olinguito, guess where the buffaloing will come from?

A dog-gone good idea?

Chicken Little looked a little fried – which for a chicken is not good.

               “Where have you been”?

               I explained to him that July is when I find myself around the country at workshops, and this year was no exception.

               “My gosh, you’ve missed all the excitement.”

               Having removed the urge to be cynical, I asked what was so earth shattering that the sky was falling.

               “OMG,” he clucked.  “Assault weapon bans, smoking bans – but that’s not the biggest news.”

               Really?  What is?

               “I may now have a place in the village”, he said.

               Do I dare ask how this came into being? 

               “Well, according to the Associated Press, and I quote, ‘pigs, chickens and cows may be as smart and sociable as dogs…’ ‘’

Chicken Little

               And who is behind this movement? 

               Little was quick to point out that it was, in fact, animal rights groups who are hoping this will boost the number of vegetarians. 

               “And talk about timing,” Little said.  “With the village looking to cut funds to lower the debt in the capital reserve funds by dropping its canine program, a chicken on patrol would be ideal.”

               Self interest, no doubt.

               “I’ve started developing promotional ideas,” he said.  “For example, how about “A chicken with every cop.”

               I reminded Little not to quit his day job.

               “Seriously, since we’re just a friendly and smart as a dog, it’s a natural.  Besides, we don’t east as much, take up space or require as much maintenance as a dog.”

               But, I asked him, what about the other animals – like pigs and cows?

               Little was quick with his retort.  “I think having pigs with police officer would send the wrong message and having a bovine on patrol would be udderly ridiculous.”

               That’s two, I warned him.

               My concern would be Chicken Little chase down criminals, especially those with assault weapons.  “We’re fleet of foot,” he said. “And I can always chase them down in my chicken coupe.  Besides, with my size I can get around easily and smoke out criminals who may be lurking at Buffalo Grove Days.”

               I was beginning to think Chicken Little had come across a bad batch of feed when I asked him if he was going to have a special crime fighting name, especially since Super Chicken was already taken.

               “Already been thinking about that,” he said. 

               Why was I not surprised.  Of course, I had to ask him if he had any ideas.

               “Actually, I do.  It’s a tribute to my favorite character from West Side Story.”

               You’re going to call yourself Bernardo or Riff? 

               “No.  While on patrol, I will be known as Officer Cluckey.”

             

Just how stupid are we getting?

I’m not sure if people are getting dumber, or if there is an overriding fear that if things are not precisely spelled out, someone will do something stupid and sue a company or individual.

            Case in point.

            In the not too recent past, I was on a flight and noticed that in the lavatories (those things are too small to be called bathrooms) in addition to the pictures stickers that remind you not to smoke, where the call button is, etc., is one on the toilet depicting a person sitting on one as if to say “and here’s where you defecate”.

            Really.

            I can’t help but wonder how much money was spent in the design and production of those stickers.  I can’t help but wonder what ever prompted the need for these stickers.  Was it based on flight crew observations?  I mean, was there an airline that feature an announcement that said “In the event of an in-cabin defecation, a roll of toilet paper will drop from the ceiling…”?  You would think that someone who figured out how to make a flight reservation, keep their luggage within airline and/or TSA guidelines and go through security would at least know how to use the restroom, oh sorry, lavatory. I guess it gives a whole new meaning to friendly skies.

            Case in point No. 2.

            Out of the clear blue, my wife decided we needed a new hair dryer.  So with coupon in hand, off I went to check out the selections.  Another case that supports Will Rogers’ claim that “We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poor house in an automobile…”  With styled hair.  A brief aside, the selection of hair dryers is almost laughable – they all have the same power, but thanks to product marketers, they all have gimmicks – which, of course add to the price. And what the heck is diffuser?  It sounds like something needed at Village Board meetings.

            With new hair dryer in hand, I eagerly awaited my wife’s approval, which was quickly earned.  Fortunately.

            With the replacement made, I decided – for whatever reason – to look at the directions.  Why I do not know because there is not much to plugging it in, selecting a speed and temperature, and drying one’s hair (the ion switch did require an extra five seconds of reading).  As with any electric appliance, the manufacturer gave safety instructions, which included the usual – don’t use near water, keep away from heated surfaces and do not use if the cord or plug is damaged.

            But one warning made me wonder just how stupid some people are.  The warning?  “Never use while sleeping.”

            Really.  Honestly.  Seriously.

            Either someone has too much time on their hands, or it’s a corporate joke.

            Can you imagine this scene?  “Good night honey, hope the hair dryer doesn’t keep you awake?”

            And talk about having a bad hair day.  “Geez, I slept with my hair dryer last night and can’t do a thing with it.”

            You just have to wonder what kind of person needs to be reminded not to use their hair dryer while sleeping.

            Oh, I know, the same person who has to be reminded what a toilet is for.

           

So what did I miss while I was gone?

I’m not sure if there’s a newspaper in Mayville, New York.

But if there is, then residents of this tiny town nestled at the end of Chautauqua Lake in western New York may have read the following:

Police continued their investigation into a small, but boisterous, parade late Monday night.   Residents report excessive horn blowing, the sounds of a yet identified horn and the sounds of Chelsea Dagger with jubilant celebrating.

               Having the Blackhawks win the Stanley cup while you’re on vacation in middle of western New York will do that to you.

               Who would have thought about it a year ago when my travel agent, who doubles as my wife, said we were going to the Chautauqua Institution on the lake bearing the same name, for a week.  The Chautauqua Institution is, in essence, Ravinia on steroids.  In addition to classic music and contemporary dance, etc., the institution offers lectures on religion, arts, drama, spirituality etc.

               But not sports.  No baseball, no football, squash, lacrosse, rugby or hockey – Nothing, nada, zilch.

         

    Fortunately, armed with a smart phone, laptop and cooperative residents who guided me to areas sports bars, all was not lost.

               Let me interject here that the Institution, as beautiful and engaging as it can be, attracts an audience that is, well, older than I am.  A lot older.  I think the average age is around 83 ½, and that’s on family day.

               The bottom line is this – there just aren’t a lot of sports fans, let alone hockey fans, around.  It’s are to say that I was the only one wearing a Blackhawks sweater at any given time – even in  80-plus degree heat with high humidity.

               Game five was a challenge.  Attending the Saturday concert that attracted 4,000 (yes, 4,000) people I found that there were some people who actually knew the Chicago Blackhawks and wanted to know the score. 

               While I have a strong disdain for people who text and use their phones during movies, I became a hypocrite during a performance by what I believe was an a cappella group, to check the score.  It’s hard being subtle when Patrick Kane scores.

               Two nights later is game six it was another visit to the amphitheater for a performance by two guys from New York who sing.  Great.  Wonderful.  But it’s game six.  Fortunately my research yielded results – a bar that has, so I was told, “plenty of big screens.”  Remember, this is Mayville, New York.  A big screen could very well be 21-inch RCA TV.  I’m saved.

               Once the two guys from New York finished, and fortunately it was a short concert, the game was only at the end of the first period with the score 1-0, Boston.  Undaunted, there was plenty of time to get to the bar, located as part of the largest resort in Mayville.  As luck would have it, I went to the wrong part of the resort, but fortunately the lobby staff had the game on giving me the chance to see the end of the first period on yes, a big screen TV.  There was hope yet in Mayville.

               Once I found the bar – a second-floor facility over the driveway – really – I was amazed to find people – all two of them -- actually watching the hockey game.  What surprised me is that they seemed to be partial to the Blackhawks.  At this point I’m getting to like Mayville, New York.  Their partiality was probably due to the fact that Mayville is about 45 minutes from Buffalo – Patrick Kane’s hometown.         Aside from dealing with an overzealous bartender (“do you want a drink?”, “do you want an appetizer?” “do you want to see a menu?”) – No, damn it, I just want to watch the hockey game.

               Despite the knowledge of the two guys to my left and the attentiveness of the bar tender (Michelle, or was it Melissa?) there was still something missing.  The place was way too quiet.  The only other patrons were a couple trying to enjoy what appeared to be a quiet late night dinner.

               Right.  It’s game six of the Stanley Cup finals.  I was hoping for a raucous crowd, ala the United Center, or a Chicago-area watering hole.  But wait, this is Mayville, New York.  Not a sole on the street.

               Like most Blackhawk fans, with Boston up 2-1 late in the third it appeared that a return trip to Mayville was inevitable. 

               Enter Bryan Bickell at 18:44 – 1:16 left.  Amazing.  It’s tied.  The bar erupts.  Well, at least I did.  Another overtime?  By this time the bar tender figured out that this guy with an Indian on his chest was not to be bothered.  Good thinking.

               The guys next to me increased their focus on the game.  We barely had a chance to discuss the tying goal when, Dave Bolland scored the go-ahead goal with 58.7 seconds left.  Amazing.  Jubilation.  Even the lonely couple having dinner looked up.

               The rest, as we all know, is history.  The two guys to my left shared my jubilation and gave me a high-five.  The bartender seemed somewhat clueless, but then again, this is Mayville, New York.

               So somewhere on this delightful night, there is some excitement in Mayville. The victory celebration was somewhat staid -- a single car with a Blackhawk car flag, some horn sounding and some shouts of glee.

               Mayville never knew what hit it. 

But neither did the Bruins.