Candidate announces choice for Village Manager

( C ) 2010

In an unprecedented move, Village Board candidate Chicken Little has announced his choice for Village Board.

"There's no doubt replacing Bill Brimm will be tough. We need someone with political experience, savvy, a media presence, and someone who can handle difficult situations.

"It is therefore, with a great deal of pride, that I announce today that I am endorsing such a person for the position of Village Manager."

After clearing his voice and polishing is beak, Little said that his choice is "none other than the former mayor of Cincinnati -- Jerry Springer." Little said the choice,

especially in light of recent Village Board meetings is a natural. "He is used to controversy and a natural self-promoter," Little said. "If nothing else, I'm sure he could handle the meetings."

Little said it was not clear if Springer would bring his security staff

with him if he is selected Village Manager. "the village has tough security equirements...maybe they could work at eSkape.."

The hiring if Spring would provide the village a manager who is accustomed to controversy. As mayor of Cincinnati, he was often the runt of controversies, especially when it came to finances and the use of

credit cards for after hours entertainment.

Little's announcement could have far-reaching impacts. For example, the raucous that now prevails would likely increase village costs, especially

when it comes to replacing gavels.

It's likely to make meetings more entertaining if they mirror Springer's show. Can you imagine some of the fisticuffs between trustees? And what if the audience gets involved?

Local media would have a plethora of stories, especially if their headlines take on a Springer flavor. "Board to Address Taxpayers and the Trustees Who Love Them,"or "PETA Decries Buffalo Abuse," or "Aliens Abduct -- And Then Return -- Trustee Stone."

The village could probably make some extra cash by selling CDs of the meetings. They could also market a book based on Village Board meetings.

How about Ripley's Believe It or Not? My guess is we don't need Springer for that one.