Beyond that dimension known to man....

The usually calm and unflappable Chicken Little was in a tizzy.

“Darn Internet.  I had insomnia and was hoping to get to my favorite site.  But I couldn’t”.

He’s generally pretty calm about things and doesn’t chicken out, so when I found him technology challenged, I was surprised.  I asked him if he called Comcast.

Are you kidding? This is serious.  Not only can I not get to my favorite channel, but I can’t go to the village web site – You know what I should have done?”

No, what?

“Called the village.  Yep, that’s it.  The web site, when it’s working, says everyone is family – and this is a family crisis.”

I became concerned where this is going.  I asked him who he thinks he should have called.

“Hey, if you’re talking family, you go to the patriarch?”  So you wanted to call the village fathers?

“Nah,” he said, “only one – Village Board President Jeff Braiman.”

Super Chicken

Ah, let’s see – you said it was the middle of the night and you couldn’t watch Super Chicken, so you called an elected official.

“Sure, doesn’t that make sense?  I mean I missed my favorite part.”  (His Favorite Part)

No it doesn’t make sense

I told him that the reason it does not make sense is because the above scenario actually occurred.

But, as widely reported, it was not Chicken Little who made the call.

The call was made by deposed former trustee Lisa Stone who, according police reports obtained by the Freedom of Information Act, called Braiman in the middle of the night to let him know the village’s web site was out.

That’s right.  The web site was not functioning, so she called Braiman.

Why?  Because of his expertise in the Internet?  Because he has access to the village’s servers at home and can magically reset the web site?

Of course not.  Because the ongoing feud Stone has with village hall and anyone who does not agrees with her has reached a new level of surrealism.

The action of contacting a public official in the middle of night for a frivolous reason makes one thing clear.   Lisa Stone’s antics are not funny.  To paraphrase the late Rod Serling, they have gone beyond the fifth dimension known to man" leaving in their wake any semblance of respect, logic and now, decency.

The story, to no surprise, made the local media with a wide range of comments and reaction.

But why?  My guess is this is not the first time someone has received an annoying phone call about a seemingly ridiculous topic.

Because it’s Stone.  Her stint as a village trustee put her in the public spotlight, a role she seems to cherish, and also made her a public figure.  Once ousted by the recall, you would figure she would accept her fate and move on.

Not quite.  Stone continued, make that continues, to dwell away at her pet causes – water safety, pedophiles and whatever else may come her way on any given day.  And while they may seem like good causes, Stone’s approach is to rip, shred, antagonize and harass people to no end.

Her latest harassment of Braiman is what has escalated this to a new level.  Beside the untimely phone call about the village web site being down at 2:30 a.m. (by the way, sources tell me it was due to routine maintenance) Stone had, according to the police report, “showed up at his office in Arlington Heights.  Braiman said Stone wanted to give him her business card for her sex toy business.”  Seriously.

The fact that Stone may have a business dealing with adult novelties (not frozen novelties, although some adults are frozen) is up to her.  She is probably not the only person in the village who has ::ahem:: a unique business.  But she’s in the spotlight and given her outlandish comments and accusation, she inherently put a target on her.

In an age where, as pundits like to say, “sex sells”,  anytime a public official or public figure is somehow remotely connected to sex in any way shape or form – it become news.  Stone's erotic entrepreneurship has done just that.  She’s not the only municipal official who has raised a few eyebrows because of their off-hours endeavors .  Back in the early 1970s, the mere speculation that a Lincolnshire trustee had posed for a Chip and Dale-like calendar, leaving his chip and dales uncovered, led to his leaving the board and slowly fading away.

So in addition to being known for her caustic, sarcastic, rude and otherwise questionable behavior, she now carries the tag of dealing in the adult pleasure business, which is generally not very mainstream.

Don’t be surprised if Stone vehemently defends her business and continues her verbal and media-comment assault on Braiman.  She will have a hard time repudiating the information about the 2:30 a.m. request for tech support because, as noted in the police report, the investigating officer called her “explaining the nature of this report.”  Stone, according to the report understood.

That given, she apparently also understands the curt, blunt and straight forward response she received from Braiman’s wife, who, according to police reports, said “How dare you call, go to hell”, and hung up the phone.  Face it, at  2:30 a.m., anyone in a sound sleep being awakened by an adversary because a web site is down.

Stone apparently doesn’t get it.  She told the Daily Herald that she was so upset with Ms. Braiman’s response that – ready – she “..is considering filing a complaint about Braiman's wife. "I'm going to come in and file a complaint about her," Stone said. "She shouldn't tell me to go to hell."

Let’s see, Stone provokes the response, which is the result of one her nasty comments, and then gets upset when people respond accordingly and wants to file charges.

I can’t imagine that happening.

Oh wait, yes I can.