No wonder they flee to the roof to eat donuts...

I recently wrote about Buffalo Grove police offers who fled the cop cars and ran for donuts and roofs of Dunkin’ Donuts.

Seriously, it was for charity. But even if it wasn’t, I think I’d understand a cop’s desire to let loose.  All you have to do is read the police reports.

For example:

Guess counting sheep didn’t work:  A resident called police about a discarded box spring and mattress.

If at first you don’t succeed:  Resident complained of noisy dump trucks (before 7 a.m.).  Police responded and told drivers who understood.  Resident wanted drivers cited for air pollution rules in regard to idling trucks.  Resident was told trucks were not violating any law.  She stormed back into her house, according to police reports

Next time, go to Best Buy:  Police were called when a customer “threatened to blow someone’s head of” because the charger he bought at a gas station did not work.

Must see video:  A resident called because someone kept turning her door knob.  She used her cell phone to capture video.

Don’t tell PETA:  Police responded to an accident involving a car and deer.  Car won.   According to police “the deer sustained injuries that it could not recover from and (I) dispatched it with one .40 caliber round."  The estimated value was $41.  Value of what?

Something fishy here:  A man left a local sushi restaurant without paying -- for his beer.  Police report the man's favorite item was not on the menu, so he ordered a beer.  He claimed it was a dirty glass, so he did not drink the beer and then left.  Without paying.

Yes, unpacking can take a while:  A resident moved to the village in the beginning of December discovered March 28 that her computer was missing.

But was he charged?: Guy told police he was speeding because he was afraid his battery was "about to die".

Slow news day:  A resident reported that her curry leaf plant and pot were missing.

Slow news day, Part 2:  Two garage door handles were reported missing.

Take cover:  Police were called by a resident about a neighbor who was flying a drone. Caller said he thinks it’s violating his privacy.  Police found owner.  Said he flies drone to relieve stress. Police told him he was not allowed to fly drones within five of an airport (Chicago Executive).  Was also told Buffalo Grove Park District does allow drones to be flown on property.  How about over?

Different strokes:  Police were called to a spa because a customer wanted “front massage" pointing to, well, his front.  Employee said they do back only.  Man left.

Write Dear Abbey: A woman called police seeking advice how to handle her 14-year-old daughter. She's not the first with this question.

But did they have to pay $50 and pick up the garbage? Residents routinely call police about people leaving garbage by dumpster.

You can’t make this stuff up:  A resident complained that a man was masturbating.  She said  she was out for a run and heard the man who was making loud moaning noises.  Resident tried to record the activity with her cell phone, but he ran off. 

Suspicious auto -- well, sort of: Police were called by a resident because "that there was a male/and female subject in the back seat of a car fornicating in the parking lot of the apartment complex. Police talked to the subjects who admitted to "hooking up" as to their purpose for being there.  Police report that the subjects agreed to clean up what they had littered in the parking lot.  According to the report "they were strongly cautioned about their activities and trespasses.  They agreed not to return." Female subject said she had just gotten home from college.

Fan club needed? Police were called because a resident who said every time he turned on his bathroom fan, his upstairs neighbor pounds on the floor.  Police checked.  Fan seemed loud.  But rest assured, the manager said it would be fixed.

Suspicious auto -- well sort of Part 2:  Police were summoned because of a couple allegedly "having relations" in front of iHOP.  Couple said they were merely "making out" and that their choice of venues was not ideal.

Somewhere Betty Crocker is laughing:  Police aided Buffalo Grove Fire Department in response to a kitchen fire.  Residents turned on oven -- without taking plastic cutting board out first.

Sorry, Rocky: Resident called because she observed a maintenance man allegedly kill a squirrel with a metal pole.  Squirrel was inside building where man worked.  Said he did not kill it, but took it outside and released it.  He said resident called because she was mad at him for telling her not to feed the squirrels.

Slow news day, Part 3 -- Woman called police to report a theft of her recycling bin.  She told police she searched the surrounding area.   Waste management told her to file a police report. 

You can’t make this up, Part 2: Police were summoned to a residence for possible disturbance.  While en route, dispatch told police caller was not sure if it was an argument or sexual activity.  Once there, police spoke with the complainant who said for the past year on every Friday or Saturday night his neighbor yells and makes loud noises with another male. Caller said he has discussed this with the homeowners’ association and was told to document the situation(s).

A shot, and a police car?   Kids playing soccer kicked the ball...which shattered the rear window of a car -- a Lake County sheriff’s deputy car.

Cat on the loose.  Police responded to the call about a stray cat.  When officer(s) brought it back to the police department, it fled. 

But was he charged, Part 2: Police had a complaint about a car blocking a lane of a street.  Owner said battery died and he was going to have it moved.   Upon investigation police noticed a box of condoms on the front seat and three "apparently used condoms" a short distance from the vehicle.

But were they fiddling on the roof?: Police responded to a report of a naked male on a roof.  When they got there they did not see anyone.  Complainant insisted he was there.  Police called for Buffalo Grove Fire Department which sent a ladder truck.  Upon further investigation, police and fire fighters found both a man and a woman -- both naked -- on the roof.  Police reports say once the couple was on the ground they admitted to making a "bad choice”.

Curse you, Red Baron:  A dog named Snoopy was reported missing.  No report if it was found in Woodstock.

Slow news day, Part 4:  Resident called police to report that over the past two years he has found laundry lint in his bushes and on her porch.

Cat on the loose, Part 2:  Police were summoned to retrieve a stray cat. It was brought to station.  A citation for a cat at large was issued.  Reports did not say when the cat will appear in court.

Next time, call Uber:  Cab driver contacted police about a passenger who would not wakeup.  Turns out she was a.) intoxicated, b.) had given the cab driver the wrong address and c.) gave the cab driver the wrong city.

Next time, get the chicken:  A resident reported to police that there was a nail in their carry-out beef brisket sandwich.