Candidate Little holds first press conference

( c ) 2010

Renown fowl and prognosticator Chicken Little has announced his candidacy for the Buffalo Grove Village Board. In accordance with his policy of open communication, Little will meet the media to address various village issues.

Q. Mr. Little, are you concerned about allegations of violations to the Illinois Open Meetings Act?

A. Funny you should ask, as you may know "The Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney has completed its investigation regarding the complaint made that the Buffalo Grove Village Board of Trustees allegedly violated the Illinois Open Meetings Act. The State’s Attorney’s finding, as set forth in a letter dated January 26, 2010 (which should be sent out to us shortly by staff), states “For these reasons we decline to prosecute this matter under the Act, and conclude our investigation without finding that the Village Board violated the Act in this instance."

Q. Are you surprised?

A. Not at all. The village, while not perfect, has a reputation of running at high standards. if you look at previous Boards and staff, they not only installed the bar which the Board and Village operate -- they kept raising it. The results have paid off -- almost to the fault because some people think you can't have a well-run village without problems.

Q. Speaking of problems, we couldn't help but notice in today's Countryside that a 63-year-old woman was arrested for prostitution in the village. Is the village attracting more unusual characters?

A. Well let me say this about that -- the village has been attracting a lot of characters lately -- have you been to a Village Board meetings? As for 63-year-old prostitutes, I'm not sure that's an AARP benefit. It did help me get one thing clarified, however.

Q. and what was that?

A. That OTB does not stand for One Touch Beyond.

Q. Speaking of the Countryside, were you surprised to see an add for "UnseenPleasure.com"?

A. Not at all, they must be trying to sell whatever they can to support Ira Leavitt's food bill. Those mega bites don't come cheap, or as we say around the coop, cheep.

Q. But really, with some Village Board members crying for decency, so you think there will be an uproar against them?

A. Who knows, the ad says Northshore's Online Romance Store, but the toll-free number says it's in the mountain time zone, so who knows. I don't think it will harm any similar businesses in the area.

Q. Are you saying the village has or is attracting this kind of store?

A. Not at all, but I've seen stranger things.

Q. Do you think a compost company would be a good investment?

A. At first I did because of the alleged odors and health risks, but as you know, the sky is not falling because the Illinois EPA has cleared the air, so to speak.

Q. You mean we're not all going to die and go to that Big Board Meeting in the sky?

A. Nah. In fact, according to the fine folks up in Waukegan, representatives from the Illinois EPA, Land & Lakes Compay and LCHD conducted a site visit to the Land & Lakes Landfill/Compost Facility. Gino Bruni with the Illinois EPA used a flame ionization detector/photo ionization detector to determine if landfill gas was migrating through the cover. There were no detections. The site was also inspected for evidence of leachate seeps. None were found. Sight odors related to the composting materials were noticed in the northeast part of the site but there were no off site odors. The reduction in odors is attributed to the odor neutralizing agent and hydro mulch sprayed on the windrows.

Q. So what's the problem?

A. The problem is we have some village officials who will raise a stink to grab the spotlight. This can have some far-reaching effects in the village.

Q. Such as?

A. Well for one thing, some trustees whine about village costs, but yet think nothing of taking up staff time to send them on a wild goose (a little fowl tribute there) chase. That's not to mention the time taken away from village meetings and the costs incurred video taping them for Ch. 6.

Q. You mean that's not done for free?

A. Good gosh no. Would you volunteer to do that? Comcast gets paid overtime to videotape the meetings. It's one thing if there's a genuine issue, but a lot of time it's grand-standing and show boating -- or just plain campaigning.

Q. Any suggestions for residents who plan on going to Monday's meeting?

A. Be patient, don't laugh too hard, and realize that the village is not going to Hell in a hand basket.

Q. So you're saying some board members are scrambling the issues.

A. Please don't say scramble to a chicken.

Q. Oops, I'm sorry. What I meant to say is this show boating is becoming way too common and annoying.

A. When residents have to wait until 12:30 to speak it is, especially when some trustees will not yield the mic or even suggest residents be allowed to go first.

Q. Shouldn't the Board President have stopped it.

A. He tired, but some folks just don't get it and keep right on talking -- even if it's out of order on the agenda.

Q. How would the folks around the coop handle this if it was another chicken?

A. Easy -- Egg Beaters.